In this episode of the Widow Life and Money Podcast, I walk you through the fundamentals of estate planning: what it is, why it matters, and how it can bring greater peace of mind in the midst of grief. Estate planning can feel intimidating, confusing, or like something only “wealthy” people need, but my goal is to simplify the language and help you understand the key decisions so you can protect your loved ones and honor your wishes.
I start by defining estate planning as a way to care for the people you love and carry out your intentions, both while you’re alive and after you’re gone. From there, I unpack the two core purposes of a solid estate plan:
- Giving – deciding who will receive your assets and how those assets will be distributed.
- Protecting – naming the people who can step in to make financial and healthcare decisions for you if you’re unable to do so.
We then walk through the five major decisions that form the backbone of most estate plans:
- Beneficiaries– who you want to inherit your assets (children, family, friends, charities) and how to think about “how much is enough” before giving beyond your inner circle.
- Method of distribution – how and when beneficiaries, especially minor or young adult children, receive money. I discuss why many people choose to use age-based or life-event milestones, and how a trust can be used to provide for education, healthcare, and support while still protecting principal.
- Successor trustee, executor, and financial power of attorney– the people you choose to handle your finances if you become incapacitated and to settle your estate after your death. I share what to look for in these roles, why you may want different people for different responsibilities, and when a professional trustee might make sense.
- Healthcare power of attorney and medical directives – how to name someone to make medical decisions on your behalf and how to spell out your own wishes through a living will or healthcare directive, including end-of-life preferences and specific treatments.
- Guardianship for minor children – how to think through who would raise your children if you were no longer here, why this is especially crucial for widows who are now solo parents, and how tools like a non-binding letter of intent or recorded message can give added guidance and comfort to future guardians.
From there, I share a practical estate planning checklist to help you start putting all the pieces together:
- Taking inventory of your tangible assets (home, vehicles, real estate, personal belongings, heirlooms, collectibles) and understanding how your will will govern their distribution.
- Listing your intangible assets (bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement plans, business interests, life insurance) and why beneficiary designations on retirement and insurance accounts *override* what your will says if they don’t match.
- Getting a rough sense of your total estate value, when federal or state estate tax issues might come into play, and why most households fall well below the federal estate tax threshold but may still need to be mindful of state-specific rules.
- Considering whether life insurance is still necessary in your situation as a widow, depending on the resources your family would need if something happened to you.
I also dive into the different types of powers of attorney and trusts:
- The role of a durable financial power of attorney in allowing a trusted person to manage your finances if you become incapacitated.
- When a limited power of attorney might be used for specific, narrow purposes.
- How a revocable living trust works, how it differs from an irrevocable trust, and the potential benefits of avoiding probate, maintaining privacy, and creating structure around how and when beneficiaries receive funds.
We round out the episode by talking about:
Final arrangements – documenting your wishes around burial, cremation, and related details.
Storing your documents – why it’s important to keep original, signed copies in a safe but reasonably accessible place, and to ensure key people know where to find them.
Regular review – why your estate plan shouldn’t be a “set it and forget it” project, and how life changes (moving states, remarriage, divorce, birth of a child, death of a loved one, or changes in the lives of your named agents) are all signals to revisit your documents.
Throughout the episode, I acknowledge how hard it can be to sit with questions about death, loss, and “what if” scenarios, especially when you’re already walking a grief journey. But I’ve seen over and over how getting an estate plan in place can meaningfully lower anxiety for widows and give them a stronger sense of control in an uncontrollable season.
I also share how we walk alongside clients in this process at Wise Stewardship Financial Planning, including helping draft core estate documents through a partner service for our ongoing clients, and when we bring in specialized estate attorneys for more complex or special needs situations.
If you’ve been putting off estate planning because it feels overwhelming, confusing, or just too emotionally heavy, my hope is that this conversation gives you both clarity and courage to take the next step, one decision at a time.
Affiliated Links Mentioned During the Podcast:
Turning Pain into Purpose: Jennifer Carazo’s Journey from Gold Star Spouse to Advocate